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Back into the Darkness

Yesterday there were reports that terrible faux 80s cock rockers The Darkness were getting back together to bludgeon the public’s eardrums with more of their bizarre winner’s rock. However, former frontman Justin Hawkins has confirmed that there is no chance that they will be reuniting. So that’s the end of that.

‘I was startled to read that I've been spending time with a small child that I didn't know existed!’ wrote Hawkins on Twitter. ‘Congrats Ed, I think... Neither Dan nor I were aware of a 'bitter feud' that has lasted half a decade. We've been at war for over 30 years.

‘Whoever paid this 'source' should really ask for their money back, because what they have bought is essentially horse s**t. If there was any truth in the Darkness reunion rumour then it wouldn't be a rumour.

‘However, delighted to read that The Sun would be glad to have us back. Warmed my cockles no end!’

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