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Beliebers threaten Selena Gomez

In pop, it’s always been teenage girls who’ve made the most ferocious, wild-eyed and just flat-out insane fans. This is especially the case with teen heartthrobs, who for some reason they assume will be able to somehow lure back to their hotel room, and engage in a night of unsophisticated fumbling.

It’s no different with Justin Bieber, whose army of Beliebers seem to be consumed with the fervour of a cultist mob: just the other day he was snapped with girlfriend Selena Gomez (let’s be honest here, confirmation or no confirmation, they are going at it), and his fans went wild with fury, threatening the poor girl’s life. One girl threatened to ‘kill ya in the night underneath your smelly bed’, while another asked her to ‘go jump off a cliff’.

Now then, Beliebers: what you need to understand is that Gomez is hotter than you, and that you have no chance with your hero. Give it up, and go and find yourselves a normal boy. You’ll feel much better then.

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