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But I like me bacon crispy

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The licking flames of hellfire can never be too far from Ozzy Osbourne's thoughts given his past fixation with Satanism. In the meantime, the Black Sabbath frontman seems prone to setting the house on fire.

Fancying a bacon sandwich in his LA mansion (You can take the Brummie out of Birmingham but he will still crave a bacon buttie), Ozzy contrived to set the entire house ablaze. Wife Sharon is in London and it seems Ozzy is not a master of the culinary arts. Firefighters were called to put out the flames and fix Ozzy a fresh buttie.

It's tempting to conclude that Ozzy is hopeless without Sharon, but in fact she is just as bad. She set the house alight in January when she left a lit candle in a glass vase and it exploded. Ozzy was injured by the flames.

"His eyebrows are gone," Sharon said at the time, "he’s got, like, skinned cheeks. We are, like, two idiots, it was like The Three Stooges." (with all those "likes", Sharon seems to feel the need to speak like a 13 year-old, presumably so the X Factor audience can relate to her). "Everything you are not meant to do, go to bed with candles alight, open the doors and put water on, we did it all. The firemen come up, they give us a lecture, and Ozzy’s like: 'She’s been doing this to me for 32 years! You tell her, you tell her, no more candles!'"

Back at the day job, it appears that producer Rick Rubin suggested that Black Sabbath should recruit former Cream and PIL drummer Ginger Baker to play on the 13 album. Baker has a reputation as the most obnoxious personality in popular music. "We put a stop on that," Toni Iommi said. "We didn't think Ginger would have been . . . we didn't want to go into the studio and have, um, problems."

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