Kiss moan about lack of authenticity

In the worst case of self-awareness failure since the pot starting badmouthing the kettle’s cleanliness issues, Kiss leader Gene Simmons has criticised the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for perceived lack of authenticity.

Simmons has spent his entire career fronting a pastiche rock band made up as nightmare clowns, but has frowned on the recognition that has been bestowed on artists like Blondie, Madonna and Patti Smith.

Asked if Kiss would consider an induction into the Hall Of Fame, Simmons demurred. "It's become a joke," he said. "We've been thinking about it and the answer is simply, 'We'll just buy it and fire everybody'. In all seriousness for the fans, for something to be called Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is such an insult to Madonna, Blondie and Tone Loc."

He suggested that those acts would be better suited to a Disco Hall of Fame. "Who the f*** knows what other disco act is in there?" the ancient vaudeville star added. "It's an insult to them because they don't get to be in the 'Dance Hall of Fame', because that's what they do. They're legitimate dance, disco artists. They don't belong in rock and roll."

Fellow Kiss member and grumpy old man Paul Stanley joined in the diatribe, picking on Patti Smith, who in most critical circles is considered infinitely more important in rock history than the cartoon act Kiss. "With all due respect," Stanley said disrespectfully, "when you get to Patti Smith you're about two steps away from Pete Seeger."

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