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Let's strap one on

For some reason rumours have been doing the rounds that Lady Gaga was born with a John Thomas since last year, which mostly had a deeply bizarre misogynist tone about them: woman likes to have sex, therefore she must be a man, or at least have some masculine characteristics. It’s one of the only issues where she doesn’t sound like a desperately naff publicity-hungry pop robot.

As a stunt, pop’s current First Lady wants to incorporate the rumours into her live show by wearing a strap-on while she struts around on stage, to celebrate her supposed masculinity.

‘We all know that one of the biggest talking points of the year was that I have a d***, so why not give them what they want?’ she in her cover interview with Q Magazine. ‘I want to wear a d*** strapped to my vagina.

‘I also carry myself onstage in a masculine way and sing in a low register. This is not out of nowhere, right? I want to comment on that in a beautiful, artistic way. How I wanna show it. And I want to call this piece 'Lady Gaga Dies Hard'.

‘When a guy says, 'Oh I f***** all these chicks this week', there’s a high-five and giggling. But when a woman does it, and it's publicised, or she's open about her sexuality, or she's free or liberated, it's, ‘Oh, she must have a d***.’ There's a threat.’

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