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Limp soggy Bizkit heading for a comeback

Do you want the good news or the bad news first? Bad news first? Okay. Limp Bizkit are reforming with the original band line-up. Fred Durst and his goons have announced they are to record a new album (jeez) and embark on a world tour (god.)

Durst and guitarist Wes Borland confirmed the worst; "We decided we were more disgusted and bored with the state of heavy popular music than we were with each other”, they said, before filling their biros with more poo and continuuing; "Regardless of where our separate paths have taken us, we recognize there is a powerful and unique energy with this particular group of people we have not found anywhere else. This is why Limp Bizkit is back."

Oh, the good news? There isn’t any. We’re in a recession and the world is doomed.

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