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Low-asis

Rock 'n' Roll has always been known as the Devil's music because of it's naughty influences like drug taking and not singing about Jesus the Saviour, but little did we know that such appalling lows could be plumbed – an Oasis concert forced an Edinburgh school to shut early. The HORROR.

Roseburn Primary was closed at 12:15 on Wednesday on police advice because of the number of people getting blotto before the gig at nearby Murrayfield stadium.

'It's ridiculous that the school had to close early because of the Oasis concert,' said concerned mother Angela McGregor to the BBC, while her son danced about with joyous freedom. 'My son Robert lost half a day's education.' We bet your kid was gutted about that.

'If it was the Queen coming then fair enough. I'm a single parent and I had to make other childcare arrangements.'

Won't somebody please think of the CHILDREN??? Oh, Edinburgh City Council were.

'We took the decision to close the school for the afternoon based on information we received from the police,' said a spokesman. 'We also know from past experience that the area will be very busy, access will be difficult and alcohol will be sold in the area.'

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