Noel quits Oasis

If you’ve been under a stone for the last couple of days this may come as a shock to you...Noel Gallagher has quit Oasis. Whether you side on “about bloody time” or are contemplating suicide, it’s been a busy couple of days for Oasis. On Friday evening at approximately 2115hrs GMT the Britpop stalwarts were due to headline the Rock En Seine Festival in Paris, but failed to appear after an announcement came on the large screens stating “...due to an altercation backstage Oasis will not be performing tonight...”

By 2300hrs Noel had posted a statement on the band’s website confirming that he had “quit Oasis tonight” because he “simply could not work with Liam a day longer”.

On Saturday Noel then followed up with another statement citing “verbal and violent intimidation towards me, my family, friends and comrades has become intolerable” as the reasons for quitting. Sources are suggesting that an ill-judged comment about the patronage of Noel's daughter Anais was the straw that broke the camel's back. So it’s over.

Well at least it looks over; Oasis may have lost their chief songwriter but the band hasn’t officially split-up yet (although a break was most probably for the best.) Rumours are now rife that Noel has already signed a solo deal and will be bringing out an album by Christmas, whereas Liam will do near to bugger-all.

Well, they do say never work with animals and kids.

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