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Please end it, end it now

It seems that the collective brain failure that England suffers whenever its football national team takes part in a major tournament has taken a vicious hold. That can be the only explanation for the fact that not one, but two World Cup tunes are occupying the top two spots in the UK singles charts. Yes, Dizzee Rascal and James Corden’s terrifyingly bad record 'Shout For England' is still on the top spot, while K’Naan’s effort ‘Wavin’ Flag’ is hanging around just behind the front man, only more effectively than Wayne Rooney.

Surely now even the most blue-blooded patriotic of Englishman should be wishing that our wretched football team be knocked out of the competition, so it stops stinking out the tournament with its leaden, caveman football, and jingoistic statements about ‘passion’ and ‘desire’, when all we really need is for our players to learn to pass the ball to each other. It’s not that hard, is it? Anyway, the rest of the best are below:

  1. (-) Shout For England ft. Dizzee Rascal & James Corden: 'Shout'
  2. (3) K'Naan: 'Wavin' Flag'
  3. (-) Example: 'Kickstarts'
  4. (-) Kylie Minogue: 'All The Lovers'
  5. (2) Tinie Tempah ft. Labrinth: 'Frisky'
  6. (5) Eminem: 'Not Afraid'
  7. (4) David Guetta & Chris Willis ft. Fergie & LMFAO: 'Gettin' Over You'
  8. (-) Robyn: 'Dancing On My Own'
  9. (7) Jason Derulo: 'Ridin' Solo'
  10. (19) Lady GaGa: 'Alejandro'

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