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Stony silences

Drug-addled wannabe pirate Keith Richards may be about to make official the worst kept secret in dad rock - that Richards and Jagger despise each other, and conduct a 'marriage of convenience' for the sake of money making. Richards has written a memoir (how?) entitled 'Life', which will dredge up all sorts of stories, including Mick's drug taking, and treatment of his legion of exes, including Marianne Faithful and Jerry Hall.

Keith has, in the past, been fairly catty towards Jagger, saying, 'If her royal highness had her way, we'd be playing in f***ing Panto. Excuse me while I laugh. He's a bit vain, let's put it like that. We want a vain bloke up there, don't we? Meanwhile, the band can go to work.' Richards has also criticised Jagger's misogynist bed-hopping ways, saying, 'I've never started a relationship just for the purpose of wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. Chicks are too precious for that. No one ever divorced me. It boils down to the fact I've never just been interested in a lay.'

Ugh, Keith, a word on semantics; never use the words 'chick' and 'lay' ever, ever again. We know you're a sixties relic, but that's really no excuse. Thanks dude.

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