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SuBo shifts units

Tabloid newspapers have gone into overdrive with the news that Susan Boyle’s debut album has become the fastest selling first long player in the history of UK chart music, and the worldwide fastest selling female debut ever. Which is pretty good going, it has to be said. Evil svengali Simon Cowell must be rubbing his washed-in-money hands together at the prospect of even more cash to dump on the pile.

I Dreamed A Dream has clocked up sales of 411,820 copies in the UK alone, beating rival reality show star Leona Lewis' debut effort Spirit. Sales in the USA are estimated to reach over a million when the figures come in later this week. That's some serious coin, or Brewsters, as scousers like to say.

‘Susan Boyle has broken the rules,’ said Cowell, cackling malevolently. ‘I never would have predicted what has happened. Susan is going to help a lot of people who didn't have the confidence to do this and realise that, actually, if you are determined and talented and people like you, you don't have to conform to what the music business has previously said.

‘You haven't got to look and behave like Madonna or Britney to be a very successful artist,’ he stated, pretending that SuBo’s success was based purely on vocal talent and not handy editing and an industry monolith (who wants people to think that pop music is meritocratic) to come and back you.

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