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Why is Ozzy Osbourne still alive?

We brought you the story last week that Ozzy Osbourne’s body will be donated to a museum as a prime-cut specimen of what a rock star looks like after decades of alcohol and drug abuse. Now it's been revealed that scientists want to do tests on his body to answer the question....why the hell is he still alive?

According to Sky News, scientists at the US firm Knome will do a series of tests on him lasting approximately three months and costing a whopping £27,000. Director of research behind the investigation, Nathan Pearson said: ‘Sequencing and analysing individuals with extreme medical histories provides the greatest potential scientific value’.

We have a theory as to why Ozzy is still with us: his body actually packed in back in the late 80s and since then Jon Culshaw has been impersonating him. You’d have to suspend your disbelief and give credit to one of his impressions of course.

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